Smile Always…For All Is Forever Well

September 29, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 11:57 pm

Bleh..really just feeling mentally and physically bleh.  Hopefully it’s just lack of sleep.  Otherwise I’m not quite sure what to think.  well…random excerpt from my thinking today then off to shower and sleep.

”    Did you ever notice how sometimes we give strong advice to others, yet overlook that advice in our own lives?  We seem to be able to save the world, yet have no clue how to help ourselves.  I’ve been called cute and adorable, and cold and distant.  I’ve been called both smart and retarded.  I’ve been called beautiful and unattractive.  I’ve even been called innocent and a slut.  On occasion I allow the negative titles to get to me and tear apart my soul. But tonight, something triggered a memory from Spanish.  It was one of those “duh” moments where you want to kick yourself.  It was one of those things everyone rolls their eyes at you for, but that you truly had to figure out yourself to understand.  This past week *the* freshman from Spanish turned around and inquired as to what I thought of him without his glasses on.  Wanting to make a point, I replied, “If I wore purple pants instead of black pants tomorrow, would I still be the same person?”  He nodded.  I simply smiled and turned back to continue with my own work.  I should have listened to my own advice much earlier.
So, how does this all connect, you might ask.  Well, you could call rain snow and it’d still be just as wet.  Or as Shakespeare put it, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” ~Romeo and Juliet.  The point being, descriptions I’m given are merely perception and opinions of people.  Regardless of what they call me I’m still the same person. Many people, who I cherish and love, drive others insane.  Yet that person is always the same person inside…the difference is in the onlookers opinions, not in the person them self.  The only thing that truly matters is if you, yourself are pleased with who you are as a person.”

September 24, 2006

Weeeee

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:08 pm

*happyfullness*

September 23, 2006

Ow…

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 11:28 pm

Have you ever felt emotional pain so strongly that it feels like your heart is literally caving in? Most of you know about Kyle. If he had a cold or even a broken bone, I would be fine…but no, it has to be his heart. Why, honestly just why? Kyle has to be the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and he only deserves the best in life… Why does he have to get sick? Why couldn’t I be in his place instead? I’d do anything right now, even switch places with him, to see him get better. Every other instance of serious sickness or death…my aunt, my great great uncle, even nikki’s grandfather…I’ve been able to accept. For once I can’t handle it. It hurts so badly to see the one most precious thing in my life in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. And what’s worse is knowing that there’s nothing I can do to make him better…

September 13, 2006

mph…

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:36 pm

Finding out that people hate you because of something that happened on the Montreal trip in eighth grade is not a good way to end the night when you’re already cold, tired, and miserable. Today’s weather pretty much sums up my mental state…dark, rainy, cloudy, and cold While it did stop raining on occasion, the rest of the conditions remained the same. Just feeling “homeless” once again. And being out in that weather without a “home” is not much fun at all. Well, off to bed with me. Maybe I can find comfort in the darkness once again…it brings back so many memories of life in eighth grade, memories I usually dread…but some how, tonight, I think they’re the only thing that will hold me together.

September 8, 2006

Perfection

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:35 pm

Kyle…me…fort alone at night…gorgeous moon…conquering my fear of the dark…wow.  Purely amazing.   Definatly the best night of my life.  *stares at the wall in a daze*

September 3, 2006

“Only Hope”

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:17 pm

What can I say? I miss someone, I think about them all the time, I’m listening to music, and I hear the perfect song…

“There’s a song that’s inside of my soul.
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

So I lay my head back down,
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

I give you my destiny
I’m giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I’m giving it back

So I lay my head back down,
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours I pray
to be only yours I pray
to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope”
~Only Hope – Mandy Moore

September 2, 2006

The life of the Jenna

Filed under: Daily Life — runningforlife @ 9:44 pm

     Let’s see…life is good (still) overall.  Cantoring today was great, with the exception of a few minor mistakes, and I got lots of hugs and complements from congregation members. (They’re always so kind to me.)  I’ve graduated from being Father’s “beautiful [voiced] Jenna” to his “nightingale.”
     Still haven’t taken care of the schedule issues, and Caroccio won’t be there until Tues. morning, which sucks horribly.  So that should interesting to see how that ends up.
     Having cable is fun…lol.  I got bored and watched, “A Walk to Remember.”   *Sighs* such a sad movie.  But after that I couldn’t take any more T.V. for the day.  Watching made up Cinderella stories and adventures on a box with colors still doesn’t compare to living real ones yourself. 
      My family already has two new friends here…Bob and Phoebe.  Well, Phoebe is more my bunny’s friend.  They were chasing each other in the halls last night.   Little dog giving bunny a bath…how cute!  Bob lives above us with his dog and doesn’t mind my flute playing ‘cause he’s a musician (guitarist) too.  So that’s a relief!
      And last but defiantly not least (actually first), I’m really worried about Kyle.  He said he’d call me when he got to where he was camping from his ‘rent’s cell.  That was yesterday.  So I’m hoping nothing happened to him and he just doesn’t have a cell.  Regardless, I miss him a ton, and if I don’t go insane from Kyley-bear withdrawal before Monday evening, it’ll be a miracle.

September 1, 2006

Rest needed

Filed under: Daily Life — runningforlife @ 9:59 pm

    Sleeeeepy time.  The chifferobe definatly wasn’t meant to be a one person project.  So now I’m desperatly in need of rest.  Oh, and I threw away the slate pieces today (for those of you who know what I’m refering to).  Somehow I don’t think I’ll be needing those anymore. 

Here

Filed under: Daily Life — runningforlife @ 12:55 pm

    We’re finally in the new appartment…woohoo I think?  And we finally have a phone, well, after realizing my compy wasn’t connected correctly and was shorting out the phoneline that is…hehe, oops.  Suprisingly, I actually like it here.  It seems…well…cozy. 
    Let’s see…Kyle’s gone for the weekend and being my patetic self I miss him already.  (And if you read this Kyle, thanks again for all the help with moving and for saving me from sleeping on a roof where I just realized I could have rolled off and yeah that’d wouldn’t have been good)
    And that’s about it for now I guess….off to rebuild the chifferobe…joy.

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