Smile Always…For All Is Forever Well

September 29, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 11:57 pm

Bleh..really just feeling mentally and physically bleh.  Hopefully it’s just lack of sleep.  Otherwise I’m not quite sure what to think.  well…random excerpt from my thinking today then off to shower and sleep.

”    Did you ever notice how sometimes we give strong advice to others, yet overlook that advice in our own lives?  We seem to be able to save the world, yet have no clue how to help ourselves.  I’ve been called cute and adorable, and cold and distant.  I’ve been called both smart and retarded.  I’ve been called beautiful and unattractive.  I’ve even been called innocent and a slut.  On occasion I allow the negative titles to get to me and tear apart my soul. But tonight, something triggered a memory from Spanish.  It was one of those “duh” moments where you want to kick yourself.  It was one of those things everyone rolls their eyes at you for, but that you truly had to figure out yourself to understand.  This past week *the* freshman from Spanish turned around and inquired as to what I thought of him without his glasses on.  Wanting to make a point, I replied, “If I wore purple pants instead of black pants tomorrow, would I still be the same person?”  He nodded.  I simply smiled and turned back to continue with my own work.  I should have listened to my own advice much earlier.
So, how does this all connect, you might ask.  Well, you could call rain snow and it’d still be just as wet.  Or as Shakespeare put it, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” ~Romeo and Juliet.  The point being, descriptions I’m given are merely perception and opinions of people.  Regardless of what they call me I’m still the same person. Many people, who I cherish and love, drive others insane.  Yet that person is always the same person inside…the difference is in the onlookers opinions, not in the person them self.  The only thing that truly matters is if you, yourself are pleased with who you are as a person.”


September 24, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:08 pm


September 23, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 11:28 pm

Have you ever felt emotional pain so strongly that it feels like your heart is literally caving in? Most of you know about Kyle. If he had a cold or even a broken bone, I would be fine…but no, it has to be his heart. Why, honestly just why? Kyle has to be the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and he only deserves the best in life… Why does he have to get sick? Why couldn’t I be in his place instead? I’d do anything right now, even switch places with him, to see him get better. Every other instance of serious sickness or death…my aunt, my great great uncle, even nikki’s grandfather…I’ve been able to accept. For once I can’t handle it. It hurts so badly to see the one most precious thing in my life in so much pain, both physically and emotionally. And what’s worse is knowing that there’s nothing I can do to make him better…

September 13, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:36 pm

Finding out that people hate you because of something that happened on the Montreal trip in eighth grade is not a good way to end the night when you’re already cold, tired, and miserable. Today’s weather pretty much sums up my mental state…dark, rainy, cloudy, and cold While it did stop raining on occasion, the rest of the conditions remained the same. Just feeling “homeless” once again. And being out in that weather without a “home” is not much fun at all. Well, off to bed with me. Maybe I can find comfort in the darkness once again…it brings back so many memories of life in eighth grade, memories I usually dread…but some how, tonight, I think they’re the only thing that will hold me together.

September 8, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:35 pm

Kyle…me…fort alone at night…gorgeous moon…conquering my fear of the dark…wow.  Purely amazing.   Definatly the best night of my life.  *stares at the wall in a daze*

September 3, 2006

“Only Hope”

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:17 pm

What can I say? I miss someone, I think about them all the time, I’m listening to music, and I hear the perfect song…

“There’s a song that’s inside of my soul.
It’s the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again

So I lay my head back down,
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope

I give you my destiny
I’m giving you all of me
I want your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs
I’m giving it back

So I lay my head back down,
and I lift my hands and pray
to be only yours I pray
to be only yours I pray
to be only yours
I know now you’re my only hope”
~Only Hope – Mandy Moore

August 29, 2006

To Kyle

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 10:30 pm

Kyle Robert Rookie, my one and only true love,

   I doubt you’ll be on before I go to bed, but I’d hate to not say
goodnight to you.  Seeing you and being in your arms again tonight was
amazing.  Three days were really starting to feel like a year to me. 
You were so cute with your mussed up hair…and that twinkle in you eye
when you smile…you’re really something special sweetheart.  I wish our
moments together in each other’s arms didn’t need to be so fleeting and
   I love you so incredibly much.  You’re the first person who’s been
able to truly make me smile inside.   I’m still smiling.  Some how the
bumps in the road of life seem so much smaller with you in my life. 
And, most importantly, you’re the first to make me feel so free.  Every
other relationship I had, made me feel so tied down.  But, you’re
something different, and wonderful.  So, thank you for being so kind to
me, for always caring, for making me smile so much.  I feel truly
blessed to have you in my life.

                       Sweet dreams love!


P.S.  I know you’re shopping tomorrow, but I’ll be up by 9, so if you
haven’t left yet, my mom’s not on-line, and you feel like talking don’t
be afraid to call.

P.P.S. Yeah, you defiantly are an amazing kisser…seriously that kiss
tonight was perfect. : )

August 19, 2006

Car-wash Cancelled

Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 9:50 am

If you’re reading this and don’t already know, the car-wash today was CANCELLED due to the bad weather (well I thought it was fine…we’ve washed in far worse..but w/e) and will be rescheduled for another thus far unknown date.

August 18, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — runningforlife @ 11:12 pm

Jeesh people…don’t be afraid to comment and give me some feedback on my philosophies and ramblings!

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